And would have horny!Fraser - who has started licking Ray more than the evidence and oblivious!paranoid!Ray - who sees non-existent crimes around ever corner.
A Welsh who, of course, is never not behind his desk:
And a Diefenbaker who tries to steal as many donuts as possible:
There would be American flags everywhere. Welsh would run the library, Huey and Duey a comedy club (of course) and there would be all sorts of cracked out crossovers - I'm pretty sure Chicagoyuktuk would have its own Stargate. And branch of Wolfram & Hart.
And it would go a little something like this - (link is to an animated gif) - only way way better.
But, unfortunately, I'm a lazy cow, and so that'll never happen. :-)
ETA - I've taken 2am_optimism's name off the animation, as she feels she didn't do anything for it. But it was as much her bunny as mine, and she definitely gets half the blame!